The typical Singaporean auntie

Went shopping with daddy and mummy again. No.. sorry. I mean, mummy went shopping with daddy and me as chaperone again. So she went inside the OG beside Centrepoint at Orchard while daddy and I sat on the seats outside.

The lady sitting to my right starts fidgeting. She turns to her right and asked the lady to her right," Mdm, what's the time please? My husband has been shopping for a long while and he's still not back!"
The lady to her right shows her the time.

After 5 minutes, the lady to my right starts fidgeting again. This time, she turns to her left and asks me," Hi girl. May I borrow your phone to call someone? OH no I mean, you call! I just need you to pass a message! I wanna call my daughter to ask her to go ahead for dinner without my husband and I."
Nice nice KS helps her dial the number. The minute her daughter picked up, I passed the phone to her. A long talk ensues.
"Girl ah.. I tell you.. daddy is taking a long time shopping for his stuff! He took the phone! Kept calling him just now he didn't pick up! You are gonna be late soon.. go ahead for dinner without us ok?"
More motherly nagging ensues.

Meanwhile, KS starts counting the minutes she spent yakking away using up her precious talk time. 1 minute passed. 2 minutes. 3... 4.... no 5...... Argh! Ok... never mind. It's ok. Motherly nagging. I must put myself in her shoes. I might be a mother some day too.

Finally, she passed my phone back to me. Phew. But she was not done with me. No way.. her preaching was far from over!

She turns to me," Thanks for your phone girl! Aiya you young teenagers are like that. Always make the parents worry about everything, your meals, who you are out with, where you are... it's like that. Oh and you know, next time people wanna borrow your handphone, don't lend them ok? A lot of people like to snatch handphones like that. Especially those teenagers. Don't think they won......"

Her words were cut short by some driving-buay-pass driver emergency braking behind us. That kinda sound u hear a lot in the initial D movie and anime.. ya know? That sound when they are drifting. Only this time, the driver was not Takumi, and he was not drifting either.. it was juz plain lousy driving that almost resulted in an accident.

That auntie's maternal instincts jumped into place again," AIYOOO this type of driver!! Tsk tsk tsk... anyhow drive on the roads! What if there are kids around?! So dangerous!!!!"

Mind you.. she was facing me, and she was talking damn loudly.. the entire walkway of pedestrians stared at us.. like I was chao hee lang and she was some fishmonger at the market. I wanted to stand up and shout," Hey.. uh.. I dunno her! I really don't! Really!!! No connections! She was not talking to me! Really!" But later I figured that would only make things worse.. so I didn't.

Thank god.. at this moment, my saviour, her husband, arrived!!! Finally, the very motherly auntie was led away still nagging incessantly with her booming voice, by her husband. Of cos, this time the subject of her nagging was her hubbie.

Somehow, when she shouted," Darling!" when she spotted her husband... a bit too loudly.. it sounded not right. Hmmm.. auntie calling uncle "darling".. so loudly.. on a crowded Orchard street. This is just a bit wrong...... teeny weeny bit.... oh never mind.