On 偶像剧

Been living on DVDs and VCDs these few days.. all on those Jap and Taiwan and Korean idol dramas. So I would wake up at 12 or 1pm... and then turn on the tv and pop in the disc, and then I would forget I haven't eaten breakfast or lunch. And then I would watch and watch and then I would forget to eat dinner as well. That's why I say I had been living on DVDs and VCDs.


The collection I'd been watching included Pride (yes that one I borrowed from JL with Kimutaku inside) and then 王子变青蛙, starring 明道 and 陳喬恩... and oso watched halfway 蔷薇之恋, starring 鄭元畅 and Ella.


Anyway, I just realised something about all these idol dramas. They are generally made for those teenage 发花痴的小妹妹. I mean... ok let's take a look at the general formula for a successful idol drama.

1. MOST IMPORTANT: One or more cute guy(s). DEFINITELY. I mean, how else do u cheat those 小妹妹 to continue watching those dramas everyday?! So we have Kimutaku, 明道, 鄭元畅, etc etc.. and OMG just their looks are enough to get those adolescent girls a HIGH derived from raging hormones.


2. One or more girl(s) to let the cute guys serenade. These characters are not important, as they are generally just there to let these adolescent girls imagine themselves to be in that position. Thus they need not look very chio. However, as generally girls from Japan and Taiwan and Korea look really goddamn chio, these characters generally all look quite chio. However, these characters are usually the object of hatred for those adolescent girls. Not hard to understand why.. if u are female that is.


3. The character of the guy... has gotta be a lil 坏坏的. 俗话说, 男人不坏女人不爱. In Pride, Kimutaku was this character who never goes into serious relationships because he wants to focus on his favourite sport, ice hockey. In 王子变青蛙, 明道 was this guy who was totally haughty and 目中无人. He despised 陳喬恩's character cos she was poor. But he later fell for her. SEE? The sure-score plot.


4. The family background of the guy... he's DEFINITELY gotta be blardie rich.. like got gold mountain silver mountain to let u spend. They call people like that 金龟. Golden tortoise. Either that, or he's gotta be DAMN successful in his career. Like world famous. Yeah. In Pride, Kimutaku became this world famous ice hockey player. In 王子变青蛙, 明道 was this freakin rich 凯子 who happens to be conveniently very good-looking as well.


5. The plot will need to have this 童话故事 element! To let those adolescents fall into the "magic" of the drama. Aiya in short.. just to 骗小妹妹 lar. In Pride, there was this Ice Goddess only the VERY good hockey players could see. And it takes the shape of the women the hockey players love! In 王子变青蛙, ok well... as the title suggests, the whole show was inspired by this storyline about how a 王子落难 and became a 青蛙.


6. The drama will contain TONS of 琼瑶 style dialogue! Dialogue like these in 王子变青蛙:

"不要随便爱上我的肩膀, 因为我只是暂时住在这个地方.."

and

"我走了.. 你会想念我吗? 我想.. 我应该会很想念你..."

etc etc. WALAU with dialogue like these peppered thru'out the drama.. how to not 骗到 those 小妹妹?? Especially if the words are spoken by this really cute 白马王子. =D


Anyway, why do I say these dramas are used to 骗小妹妹? Cos onli 小妹妹 can get cheated by these dramas.

In real life.. how to find guys like those in the dramas?! Please lah.. u find me one.. I marry him right away! Provided he's agreeable la that is.. if he's not, I'll knock him unconscious and then 点 his 穴道 and then drag him to the altar. Or maybe ROM. But anyway, that's beside the point.


Ok u see ah.. let's start from the basics.

Firstly... how many guys are there in this world, who are both RICH and CUTE?! Ok actually, u noe that Li Ka Shing's son, he's ok looking. Not fantastic, but ok. Acceptable. Hmm.. actually come to think of it, offhand, I can think of just one rich and not bad looking guy. But shan't tell u all who he is WAHAHA cos I duno him well. OH and actually, there's oso EDISON! But other than him, no one else. And Edison's not like, fantastically rich. Just, comfortably rich.

And then, ok let's say, for example, u really find this uber cute and fantastically rich guy. And OH ME OH MY he likes u too! But come on man... face it. Which guy will actually speak in 琼瑶 lingo?! WALAU PLEASE LOR! U ask any guy on the road to say things like what my 明道 said in 王子变青蛙, I think they would rather die lor!

Another point.. Come on girls, face it. To guys, we are just not that important. There are always more important things, like.. that can-die-but-cannot-miss soccer match. Like his never-ending computer games, warcraft and maple story and gunbound. And now I heard there's this new game called Monster and me! And oso, the guys love their cars and 武侠小说 and what not. But since I love those too, I can't complain hahahaha.

Anyway, my point is, NO guy will be as nice as to treat their girls as important as the world. Cos there is just no point spending so much time and attention on girls when it could be spent on games and soccer and I dunno what not. Yes? Correct? Yes agreed.


And anyway, most of the dramas are illogical. Like hello... what Ice Goddess.. I'm sure lar! Where got such things one?! And in that 王子变青蛙, WALAU my darling 明道 got hit on the head dunno how many zillion times. First few times he got hit, he lost his previous memory and became a nice guy. And then later when he got hit again, he lost the memory after he got hit, i.e. he forgot that he had become a nice guy and went back to his old ways again. According to the doctor, he lost his short term memory and got back his long term memory. OK maybe that is still possible. But somehow after that, he regained his short term memory! WALAU how the hell is that possible?! Nehmind. 偶像剧, meant to 骗小妹妹, not meant to make sense.


And anyway, that's why it's not just the 小妹妹 who got cheated.. even 大姐姐 like me oso can get cheated by the dream-like 偶像剧. And presently, my dream beau is this at times 温柔 and at times 坏坏的....

TADAA.. 明道!!!

本名：林朝章
生日：1980/02/26
星座：雙魚座
血型：O型
身高：180cm
體重：70kg
語言：國、英、台
興趣：玩車、吉他
專長：表演、主持
学历：彰师大工教系三年级(在学)

WAH I thot he 原著民.. how come got Chinese name?! Same surname as me some more! And oh yes.. he loves cars! ME TOO! And he loves the guitar too! ME TOO! Never mind that I only know the C chord and the D chord and I can't play chords that require 5-finger-coordinations. Those things are not important. HEE HEE I love 明道! Ok not gonna waste time here typing rubbish anymore..

Tonight my bro's going to Genting!! YAY! I can watch my own 蔷薇之恋 DVD no need to watch his favourite 王子变青蛙 DVD! Mai tu mai tu.. going to switch on the DVD now! Then later I will go watch Bleach on my com.. wah my schedule very packed ah.... GOTTA RUN! CYA!!!